Written by Hydrogen Balloon

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Wednesday, 11 January 2012

image for Buddha Slims Down, Jesus Bulks Up
Buddha's New Body

Heaven-- Two of the most recognisable icons of the religious world have gone through a complete make-over since the New Year began. Buddha's been on a strict weight-loss diet, and Jesus Christ has been working-out to put some muscles on his scrawny frame. Both gentlemen are feeling fine, and very satisfied with their results.

Buddha decided last year that the way to Nirvana is not through the stomach. The tubby 350 pound butterball is now a sleek 150 pounds, thanks to a diet of rice and lotus leaves. Buddha's nice smile is even nicer now. The ladies have noticed the difference too. Venus called him up the other day and asked him for a date!

Jesus finally got tired of turning the other cheek, and decided to put some muscles on his skinny arms. The 33 year-old works out twice a day at the gym, and now has bulging arms and legs. He also trimmed his hair and beard, and now looks a lot like a young George Clooney.

"Blessed are the weightlifters, because they can kick your ass!" said Jesus as he came out of the locker room.

Other religious figures have decided to update their own images as well. The Virgin Mary was wearing spandex the other day, and Venus had a face lift.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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