Written by queen mudder

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Tuesday, 10 January 2012

image for Queen fears Friday the 13th has started early amid post-Full Moon Sumatra quake
1837 was when Queen Victoria swept to the Throne

Indonesia - She was informed early as the 7.3 magnitude tremor struck 423km (262 miles) south-west of Banda Aceh at an estimated depth of 29.1 km (18.1 miles) triggering an official tsunami warning along the Pacific Ring of Fire.

Courtiers said tonight that what really freaked out HM the Queen was the 18.37GMT timing of the sudden quake whose numerology coincides exactly with the year Queen Victoria took the throne.

"It's sent shockwaves along the royal DNA," a flunky commented as worried Palace staff remain shell-shocked from news of the discovery of a Latvian girl's body dumped at Sandringham for over four months.

Tonight the Queen and Prince Philip are in ouija board lockdown in Sandringham House's mysterious De Rothschild Suite.

Frantic pleas to the ether have previously resulted in a 'Mirror, Mirror, Off-the-Wall, Who's The Royal-est One of Them All?' hexoplasm scenario during times of national crisis.

But another dead corgi in the drawing room grate this morning was like a stab in the back - or the severed horse's head in The Godfather as Prince Philip once remarked.

Camilla F***er-Proles swears blind she'll be sober by the Trooping of the Color.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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