Written by DJC
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Monday, 2 January 2012

image for South Korea to give up internet if North abandons nuclear program

In a move that has shocked the nation, the president of South Korea, Lee Myung-bak has announced that should the North Koreans comply with United Nations resolutions and abandon it's nuclear program, South Korea will give up the internet.

South Korea was officially voted the nerdiest nation on the planet by the respected publication Geek Chic in 2010/11 and this move has provoked outrage and violence amongst the citizenry. After a marathon gaming session lasting 39 hours, Fook Yu Man, a 36 year-old petrol station attendant who lives with his parents had this to say whilst on the streets in protest.

"I can't believe the apples are rising from there, it's like the great Satchmo....."

Unfortunately, whether due to the stress of possibly losing his beloved internet or his sleepless two day gaming session, sustaining himself on Red Bull and Malboro Lights, Fook passed out. His piss stained pants glistening like Christmas lights from the gutter.

82 year old war veteran Soon Yi Di was less concerned about the technological ramifications.

"At least this protest is getting these fat lazy bastards off their arses. We need another war, that will sort them out." he continued "The inferet? Never used it, never will, but there's no way I'm giving an inch to those northern commie midget pricks."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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