In response to Kim Jong Un's sudden surge in the Iowa Causus polls, Michele Bachmann has come out swinging against the North Korean.
"I don't believe than Mr. Un will make a good Republican presidential candidate," she declared at her daily noon press conference, "and I don't believe the Iowan people will vote for him once they discover the real Jong Kim Un....Un Kim Jong.....whatever...."
Then Ms. Bachmann's press spokesperson, Percy Lovehandles, distributed copies of an e-mail purportedly sent by Mr. Un to his alleged paramour living in Hollywood, California.
The e-mail said: "Dear Pussy-Wussy, The Great "Old Fart" is finally dead. We can now fly to Paris and I can sip from your bountiful chalice of precious bodily fluids. Signed, Unny."
A trace of the e-mail revealed that the new North Korean dictator's alleged love interest was none other than Gwyneth Paltrow. Ms. Paltrow's people have categorically denied the charges. A check at LAX has revealed that a ticket purchased by Ms. Paltrow for Paris was cancelled.