Written by PC1
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Wednesday, 8 February 2006

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Intelligent Designer, Found

The World Intelligence Agency announced today that they've finally found the mysterious "Intelligent Designer" - the one responsible for the creation of mankind and the entire universe.

Michael Breene, head of the World Intelligence Agency says "this is probably the biggest catch we've had in a long time, if not the biggest catch."

"For centuries we've been following all sorts of dead-end leads trying to solve this puzzling mystery of where all of 'Life' came from", he said. "And now it looks like we've solved this mystery once and for all."

Authorities say a telephone call from a 7 year old boy to a South Florida radio station led them into finding the "Intelligent Designer".

The boy, Freddy Gonzales, had recently recovered from a serious illness. When he called in to his favorite sports-radio station to thank the host and his listeners for sending him so many "Get Well Cards", the host asked him how he was feeling. Gonzales replied "thank the Creator, I'm feeling just great!"

Intelligence authorities say they were curious to know who this "Creator" was and if he could possibly be the one responsible for designing the entire universe.

"It wasn't the first time we've heard this name before," Breene said, "but we never took the name seriously because we were busy following other leads given to us by a man named Charles Darwin who told us to interrogate as many fossils as we could and to ask them about a certain process called "Evolution".

"We cross-examined all sorts of organic fossils and even interrogated dozens of apes, but, we were left with too many unanswered questions such as where the very first organisms came from and why certain apes refused to join the human race. However, after hearing that kid's phone call we felt confident we had finally found what we were looking for."

Authorities met up with the boy and asked him where the 'Creator' was "hanging out these days."

"Well, he's pretty much omnipresent." the boy said, he could be anywhere, but he's really everywhere.

Puzzled by the boy's reply, the agents went out on their own to try and find the "Creator", and finally after a few hours of reflection and a sprinkle or two of some finely tuned meditation they managed to find him, and realized they'd probably seen him before.

"I think I remember seeing him once in the middle of a dangerous shootout I was having with a bunch of armed thugs," Breene said. "He definitely helped me out a lot then. I don't think I would have made it without him."

Agents say the "Creator", who also goes by other code names such as "The Lord", and the "Intelligent Designer", confirmed that it was he who was responsible for creating the Universe and Mankind many years ago, all in just six days.

Agents told the Lord that they were surprised he could create the world in only six days when others have said it took millions of years for the world to form.

The "Creator" simply laughed and said "it didn't take you guys millions of years to create all of your inventions, did it? And you aint even the 'Creator'!

"The Angel Group", a heavenly based law firm who also serve as full time assistants to the "Creator", say they would like to sue Charles Darwin and his followers for libel, but fear the courts down here on Earth would side with Darwin rather than the "Creator".

"We'll just have to take this case to the higher courts if necessary, they said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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