General Sam Dong-ten, head of the North Korea's massive military, attempted to squash rumors today that the death of Kim Jong-il and the deployment of the nations first remotely controlled drone 'Glorious Leader' was nothing more than a total coincidence.
Kim Jong-il had been ill lately, said the General in a nationally televised new conference, and succumbed to "sa-sa-sa-sa-sudden da-da-death syn-syn-syndrome."
Other military leaders in the background could be seen snickering at their ruthless boss who, it has been rumored in Washington, has suffered from stuttering since childhood.
The new drone 'Glorious Leader' then stepped to the microphone. Sporting a red ball-cap and a fishing vest the new Korean leader proclaimed himself technologically vastly superior to the best Western nations remotely controlled drone leaders.
"For one thing I never misspeak," said Glorious Leader in fluent French and Korean simultaneously, "unlike that previous US Presidential model whose corrupted computer sub-routines rendered him completely unintelligible at times."
In a related story an angry ex-Vice President Dick Cheney lambasted the new Glorious Leader's electronics on Fox News, adding that his computer code writing skills were second to none and that George Bush's occasional grammar mistakes and goofy side-ways grin were caused by nothing more than unanticipated random static electricity.