Pyongyang - French sauces (sick) described it today as a classic case of le petit mort 'but with knobs on' as the North Korean leader's diminutive body was found RIP aboard a bullet train to No-Where, North Korea.
Widespread media reporting has noted 'he was 69'.
Witnesses say a little smile on his parted lips was mostly obscured by a large, foreign object - thought to be some sort of hybrid Chinese fortune cookie.
Last week North Korean red tops claimed Kim Jong Very-ill-Indeed 'had already begun grooming Kim Jong-un' to take over.
Someone who's never met him said today news of the Dear Leader's death would wreak havoc among civilised nation states everywhere.
"He was Queen Elizabeth's favorite son after Muammar Gaddafi," Hilda Parsnip from the Reuterus News Agency commented.
"Now they're all dropping like flies."
An inquest tomorrow is expected to find natural causes killed Jong-il.