Written by Aspartame Boy
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 15 December 2011

image for India Inhaling Death
Street vendors are reusing old catsup containers, stuffing them with pure aspartame

INDIA - In the wake of many deaths by methanol in India, the resurgence of aspartame inhalation is rampant.

According to our source, staff doctor, Dr. Whine Galena, when inhaled, pure aspartame releases enough methanol to produce a narcotic 'high' similar to moonshine, or illegal whiskey. It leads to death a few months later, but most people don't worry about that, so long as they can have a great party.

This fact is having its effect in India, as the production of moonshine is being discouraged. Pure aspartame is available online at online auction houses. Street vendors are getting rich selling 'snort packs' of pure aspartame, a legal substance, and FDA approved.

According to Dr. Galena, that FDA approval should serve as a warning: do not use.

Make Aspartame Boy's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 3?

5 16 19 4

Go to top