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Friday, 3 February 2006

The popular television series "Beheading an Infidel" is scheduled to resume this week on Al Jazzera television.

The show, which features the beheading of infidels captured by terrorist forces, was recently shelved when the Al Qaeda terrorist network refused to supply Al Jazeera with anymore of the 'decapitating' videos until they agreed to split all advertising revenues produced from the popular television show.

Initially, Al Jazeera had been reluctant to split their revenues with Bin Laden's organization. However, a videotape released by Al Qaeda last week in which Osama Bin Laden threatened to kidnap Al Jazeera employees and behead them one by one until an agreement was reached, brought about a change of heart in the Al Jazeera management.

Al Qaeda recruiters say that the popular 'Beheading' television series is a vital part of their recruitment process.

Ayman Al Zawahiri, Al Qaeda's second in command says "People are looking for spiritual fulfillment in their everyday lives, and taking part in the beheading rituals gives them an opportunity to fill this need. And It makes us feel good when we see the new found happiness on the faces of our new recruits as they behead their victims. These new recruits were previously down in the dumps. Now, they're extremely happy knowing that they're making a difference with peoples' lives."

Al Zawahiri claims that many of today's youth end up joining some of the various satanic groups that specialize in human sacrifices and other blood related rituals. But, he says "while these groups have the right intentions, they are misguided and lack the proper religious fundamentals.

"If you're gonna kill somebody," he said "Why kill just anybody? You might as well kill an 'infidel' for the same price. You know, these infidels are a blood-thirsty bunch, and they thrive off of a perverted and violent culture that is just full of cut-throat brutality."

Al Jazeera's management say they plan to add some more family-oriented programs, coming this Spring.

One series scheduled to begin airing shortly, "Life In A US Detention Center" is a drama based feature which will play out the daily grind of an Al Qaeda prisoner who is forced to live without the bare necessities of everyday life, incliuding murder, mayhem and total devastation.

The show was scheduled to begin this week. However, a glitch occurred in the middle of filming, when one of the actors who is an actual terrorist in real life, was asked to partake in an important martyr's operation in Iraq, causing a slight delay in the broadcasting schedule. The actor was recently found dead in a blown up Iraqi school bus and will be replaced shortly according to Al Jazeera management.

"All in all," says Richard Cashman of Forbes Magazine "I would say the future looks pretty bright for those wanting to cash in on the terrorist-entertainment market. Right now I would definitely put my money in anything to do with "Decapitation". It's the wave of the future and will probably remain 'head and shoulders' above the rest of the competition for many years to come."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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