PARIS - (Rooters) A company of soldiers, in which I was embedded, invaded Paris today. Equipped with purified-aspartame spray throwers we managed to drive the Germans back to Germany. The German front is now quiet.
In order to drive all the German soldiers back to Germany, we had to commandeer several buses. The French peasants were quite agreeable when we forced them off the bus. It was all in a good cause.
After spraying the Germans with aspartame, they lost all will to resist. Some even started removing their clothing, even though it was -10 degrees Celsius.
One of our soldiers was accidentally sprayed. He has been passing an evil smelling gas lately, but is expected to recover and to be awarded the Purple Fart.