Written by rfreed
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Thursday, 8 December 2011

image for Introducing Reptilious Greedious - A New Category Of Human Is Discovered Amongst Us
Note the glint of cannablistic greed in its eyes.....

Sociologists and scientists working in tandem have discovered and isolated a new sub category of human beings. Oddly enough, they have been in existence within our societies for some time.

This new sub-genus to the human species is actually a throwback to our evolutionary predecessors, the reptiles. This breed of human being is distinctly cold blooded and carnivorous. The scientific name 'Reptilious Greedious" has been applied to designate them and are found predominately in the business field, most populously in the wealthier corporations.

This creature looks like other human beings except has a tendency to wear suits to clothe its body which serve no other purpose than to identify itself to others of its kind. The suits are a strange evolutionary development as they are not useful in any sort of survival scenario. They are not resistant to cold, rain or snow, are not cool in the summer heat, offer no armor in case of attack, are easily dirtied, impractical, offer no beauty, sexiness or originality in their design and are easily damaged by the rigors of day to day life. They offer no real practical value to the survivability of the creature except that of preening its vanity.

Reptilious Greedious is a strange creature. His habits are often anti social and sometimes downright cannibalistic. He is usually quite willing to undermine the very society that supports him to gain his abstract goal- money and the power that money brings. Unfortunately the money that he seeks so lustily is itself an aberration. He seeks a myriad of material things that, once possessed, he will rarely have the time to enjoy for he is too busy getting more money to get more things. It is a vicious circle.

Being cold blooded, Reptilious has little concern or warmth for his fellow, more warm blooded humans. If they work for him, he will try to lower them as close to the slave state as he can. If he does business with them, he will connive and manipulate them to his advantage as much as possible. He will manipulate the economy tp his fortune, robbing those under his control to the point of inducing poverty. If in ill health, he will fight changes that would be against his financial betterment although it leaves his brother without adequate access to medical attention.

Reptilious stoops often to a modern form of cannibalism. He will devour a neighbors house when he is tardy on his payment. He will destroy families that do not have money above their needs to pay what they owe on ill conceived borrowing. He will make robotic laborers of mothers and fathers robbing them of time to care for their families. He will devour the finances of people for his betterment and out of sheer joy of being an overlord.

A scary development is that a number of authenticated Reptilious's have made it to the higher echelons of our political society. The most prominent example is the one named 'Dick Cheney' by his alleged parents, although scientists speculate he was actually hatched in an undisclosed incubator. His cold blooded methods and manipulations brought him to the attention of the scientific community during his political and corporate career. That he was indeed a Reptilious was confirmed when it became apparent that he could function without having a heart.

There is some suspicion that the Reptilious's are actually a form of Borg, a half-human, half-androidal race that is eternally focused on the gaining of power and control over others. Cheney seems to prove the truth of this assumption.

There has been talk of eradicating Reptilious, but unfortunately they are the ones owning most of the weaponry and poisons that would be necessary to get rid of them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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