Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Saturday, 10 December 2011

image for Eurozone to adopt Higgs Boson as new currency
France's Large Particle Bank

In an attempt to solve the debt crisis in the Eurozone, the Higgs Boson is to be adopted as the new currency. Difficulty in producing the particle, and the fact that it may not even exist are sure to increase its value, which should boost the Eurozone's troubled economy.

The Higgs Boson may be found in CERN's Large Particle Accelerator in the next few months. It is likely to only exist for a few microseconds at a time. If adopted as a currency, this will be an advantage as it will be impossible for inflation to affect it.

It should also be a bonus during international financial transactions, where computers that recognise its scarcity will sell it at extremely high prices. It is estimated that one Higgs Boson will be enough to fund the government budgets of the Eurozone for an entire year - if only the particle could exist for so long.

Germany are not keen on the proposal, as France controls Europe's supply of Higgs Bosons, and therefore would be able to act as the banker of Europe.

China is working on its own particle-based currency, and it is likely that in 2012 it will begin using the electron as money. This should fuel the electronics industry, and could eventually lead to a punitive tax on all atoms.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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