Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: teeth, Banana, cake

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

image for Banana Cake Stuck To Man's Teeth
Not Kenwood's teeth, with or without clotted banana

An Englishman living in the Thai capital of Bangkok had a narrow escape earlier today, when a banana cake he was eating after his tea became stuck to his teeth, rendering his mouth immobile.

Moys Kenwood, 48, originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, bit down upon the sweet bananary treat with much enthusiasm, but soon discovered that he was unable to move his jaws, and that his tongue had become inseparable from his palate - until friends came to his assistance.

One directed a Powerwasher at Kenwood's stricken mush, whilst another used a chisel to prise the bun's contents loose.

Later, after cleaning his teeth with hydrochloric acid, a relieved Kenwood told us:

"I thought I was a goner. It was like using treacle as a mouthwash. Those buns should carry a government health warning."

Even later, a Thai government minister laughed:

"What's a government health warning?"

The banana cake, bought from Big C, was interviewed by police but released without charge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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