Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 5 December 2011

image for India lads mag outs Veena Malik 'as Bollywood Anna Chapman'
This pix ended up on thr cutting room floor

Pakistan - "I won't be taking this slur lying down," ebony-eyed Pakistani actress, model and sometime comedienne Veena Malik vowed today.

But her country's equivalent of 'MI5' is said to be livid at the publication of its ISI acronym tattooed on the arm of the naked Lahore actress.

The spectacular nude shot features on this month's FHM India front cover in what security/intelligence industry sources have described as a tongue-in-cheek 'Bollywood Anna Chapman' outing.

The luscious thirty-something's bare-ass body adorns the December edition next to a sub-headline that reads 'Naked Protests Are Just Amateur Porn'.

A second sub-headline reads 'Pakistani WMD: Veena Malik on Asif*/Burquas/And Work Visas'.

A PR spokesperson for Ms Malik said today the picture has been doctored and the actress was only paid for a glamorous topless shot with the addition of the 'ISI' tattoo.

That was supposed to be just 'a cheeky dig at Indian paranoia' after Ms Malik's sex appeal was compared to firey-tressed Russian temptress Anna Chapman.

Malik, 37, is now threatening to sue and is said to be pretty upset at secondary slurs claiming she bleached her body to look pale and 'nearly wore out the mag's airbrush artists' because of the work involved in erasing 'stretch marks, cellulite and droopy boobs'.

London's 'falied' Russian spy Katia Zatuliveter is 69.

*Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari - as if you didn't already know...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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