(Rooters) - Choka-Chinka Co protested Tuesday the healthfulness of its ham drinks proffered in northern China, decrying the link to the death of six hundred million Chinese people who had consumed the drinks. Choka-Chinka executives even went so far as to say, "What drinks? We don't have any ham drinks! Who would put ham in a drink!", at a press conference held after the deaths.
Chinese reporters protested that the drink turned people purple and that people died after drinking ham-flavored Pus-like Poo-poo Ham Drink (PPHD) three days ago.
After the story broke, all of the product mysteriously disappeared from store shelves. Choka-Chinka has also kicked off a new sales campaign: any aspartame laden beverage now ninety percent off.
Police, who had started investigating, are now breaking for refreshments. Executives say privately according to our mole, that the police will forget everything they know about it soon.