Written by Sue Donim
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Topics: weapons, missile

Thursday, 26 January 2006

image for Soviet cold war weapons discovered
A picture of one of the "Dogkets" from Soviet files

Shocking new evidence has appeared in the recent "ortherised" American search of old Soviet missile bunkers that the Soviet union was going to unleash a terrifying wave of "Dogkets" (seen in picture) on any ground forces that happened to invade Russia.

One ex- commander of one of these such missile basis said that at the time said, " back in the days of the cold war dogs seemed like the only thing that would go to an American tank, we tried lower creatures than a dog, like Ukrainians, Latvians and even some East Germans but none of them would run towards an American tank with a 150lb rocket on there backs."

Animal rights activists are planning to launch a full scale blitzkrieg type peaceful protest attack on Moscow on Monday morning. One spokesperson for the animal rights said "What the Russians were planning to do with those dogs is horrific, why couldn't they have used someone from Ecuador or Ukraine." The RSPCA has also said that if the peaceful protest fails, they will send in

It will not be the first time that the RSPCA has gone into action against nationwide animal cruelty. The other time this happened was in 1949, the RSPCA found out the Koreans were cooking dogs, in response they sent in an armed force of RSPCA officers with rifles, to try and stop them committing such a fowl act. Obviously when the Americans found out that they had invaded Korea they thought they had to join in, and so it became an uncoordinated bloody affair with no end in sight.

The dogs that were used in this program were specially trained so that they would run towards the biggest lump of wood that it could see, this lead it to run towards Texan soldiers of the American army.

One way that the "Dogkets" were used is to fly them over the enemy lines dropping them out of a plane, this way it got to experience the thrill of true flight before falling to its bloody and horrific death.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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