Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Armageddon, 2012

Sunday, 27 November 2011

image for In Order to Avoid the Mayan Doomsday Prediction, the Year 2012 Will be Skipped Entirely
There sure are a lotta bones.

It has been announced by the President of the World's Calendar Association, Eddy Days, that the Gregorian calendar shall be changed in order to avoid the Mayan doomsday prediction which is supposed to happen sometime in the year 2012, which by chance just happens to start just after the end of the year 2011.

Eddy Days has said that come January 1st all calendars will have the year 2013 instead of 2012 which would make moot the coming of doomsday which will already have happened in the previous year of 2012 which never occurred.

"Everyone can simply relax and stop panicking and doing whatever silly things people do when they are confronted by the realization that the world will end in the upcoming year", stated Mr. Days. "Seeing that the year 2012 has passed us all, assures the world that we have avoided a major catastrophe which would have wiped out all of mankind as well as all those annoying telemarketers and debt collectors".

While Mr. Days' announcement has been met by relief and joy for so much of the world, especially those who were condemned to death in the State of Texas by having to spend the year with Roseanne Bar, there have been many critics and detractors.

Members of Wall Street have expressed their dismay over the fact that they will have to forgo ridiculous multi-million dollar bonuses and raises as well as numerous chances to come up with new ways to squeeze more money out of the world's populace for an entire year.

The Catholic Church is, especially upset about the decision mentioning that if the end of the world had already occurred it means we all been forsaken which puts them in the same boat as Atheists, Muslims, Satanist and members of the Paparazzi.

The happiest people are US President Barack Obama and the entire US Congress who, not only will be guaranteed to hold their seats due to the fact that the 2012 elections never occurred but will, also, revel in the fact that for an entire year they didn't do anything to fuck things up.

Upon hearing all the pros and cons stated above Eddy Days became very dejected and mumbled:

"Maybe this whole thing was a really bad idea after all"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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