Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

image for Rare yellow diamond 'is a fake'
Tarted-up fake or the real thing?

Geneva - A plot to flog off a 'rare yellow diamond' has gone pear-shaped Interpol sources said today.

Brilliant refraction by the 110.3 carat 'Sun Dance Squid' - said to resemble an octopus' testicles, er...tentacles! - makes the stone worth an estimated $15million.

But gemmology experts have warned 'it could be an impostor' in the shape of the notorious Custard Tart Star, a home-baked fraud cooked up in a Chinese pet crematorium that turns deceased canaries' ashes into high class bling.

"Plenty of bereaved people are turning pets and loved ones into precious gems," a spokesperson for RIP farmyard poultry gem specialists Rocks-From-Cocks commented this afternoon.

The process takes approximately 12 stone (168lbs) of human flesh to create just one carat of diamond which is then irradiated to produce a flawless finish.

Tonight's star exhibit may have been fashioned from several tonnes of dead animal remains - including a Killer Whale - 'or the human equivalent of Ann Widdecombe', a fraud-watch website warned sale punters.

Bidding is expected to start around five million squid.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 4?

1 6 7 3
65 readers are online right now!

Go to top