Written by queen mudder
Print this

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

image for Rare yellow diamond 'is a fake'
Tarted-up fake or the real thing?

Geneva - A plot to flog off a 'rare yellow diamond' has gone pear-shaped Interpol sources said today.

Brilliant refraction by the 110.3 carat 'Sun Dance Squid' - said to resemble an octopus' testicles, er...tentacles! - makes the stone worth an estimated $15million.

But gemmology experts have warned 'it could be an impostor' in the shape of the notorious Custard Tart Star, a home-baked fraud cooked up in a Chinese pet crematorium that turns deceased canaries' ashes into high class bling.

"Plenty of bereaved people are turning pets and loved ones into precious gems," a spokesperson for RIP farmyard poultry gem specialists Rocks-From-Cocks commented this afternoon.

The process takes approximately 12 stone (168lbs) of human flesh to create just one carat of diamond which is then irradiated to produce a flawless finish.

Tonight's star exhibit may have been fashioned from several tonnes of dead animal remains - including a Killer Whale - 'or the human equivalent of Ann Widdecombe', a fraud-watch website warned sale punters.

Bidding is expected to start around five million squid.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 5?

3 5 18 9
66 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more