Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 13 November 2011

image for Brazilian police take over huge slum and don't know what to do with it!
Brazilian slum occupant hoping for a better life in the Amazon jungle!

The largest slum in Rio de Janeiro, called Rochina, has been taken over by Brazilian police and now they don't know what the hell to do with it.

The take over took place without a huge amount of violence and the main reason was to clean the place up before the World Cup starts in 2014. There are many drug rats, gang violence, murders, rapings and all the general things that happen in slums all over the world, but because of the World Cup the Brazilian government decided, enough is enough. The take over was financed by FIFA, Coca Cola and McDonalds.

Now the biggest problem is; what to do with the place? It is impossible to build a soccer stadium there because the slum is perched on a very steep hill. Global estate agents have applied for planning rights to build luxury mansions on it for Brazilian multi-millionaire soccer players and mega-rich tourists. David Beckham also applied to buy the place so he can turn it into a giant Fun Soccer-Park for when he stops attempting to play soccer at speed, etc.

The Brazilian police are contemplating all offers, but the most original one was; Pele, Ronaldhino, Ronaldo (not Christian) are putting their money together and want to build a giant sanatorium for ex-super soccer stars who are totally burnt out, have too much money to burn and can enjoy recovering from there very stressful lives overlooking the Copacabana beach; bingo!

As for the present slum inhabitants they are being bulldozed into the deep depths of the Amazon jungle where hopefully they will all be eaten by anacondas or bitten by tarantulas, good riddance to the rubbish!

Remember the South African slums?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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