Written by DB Madd
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Thursday, 10 November 2011

image for ANZAC Treaty crumbles just like the biscuit.

Australia has launched a full scale naval invasion of New Zealand across the Tasman Sea.

First reports of the invasion have been reported by coastal New Zealand communities. The Tweetosphere was bombarded by updates like the following from @beachedwhale 'Australia is attacking! We're invaded as bro!'.

International spectators have commented that the most likely reason for the invasion is linked to the steep increase in wool prices over the last twelve months. Economic commentators have held grave concerns for Australia's reliance on its mining boom over the last two decades to support the country's economic performance. It is believed that this dependency on mining has instigated Australia's invasion of New Zealand so that it can capitalize on the current high price of wool. With a forty million sheep-count, almost double Australia's human population, it is financially viable for Australia to flex its military muscle to control one of New Zealand's few exportable resources.

John Key, Prime Minister of New Zealand, is outraged and has called for international support:
"The Australian Government and its people have fleeced us! New Zealand is the peaceful lamb of the Oceanic Region and we will not have the wool pulled over our eyes! Australia, let it be known that the international community has its eye on ewe and we will not go down without a fight!"

The United States Secretary of Defence, Leon Panetta, has expressed that there is no need for US or international intervention. In address from the White House he highlighted that:
"it was only a matter of time before New Zealand became a territory of Australia, after all, before today, I already thought it was ."

With New Zealand's Defence Force occupied with the clean-up of the shipwrecked Rena off the Bay of Plenty, Australia launched HMAS Warramunga, Stuart and Sirius from Sydney in an unexpected attack of New Zealand's South Island. Ground troops and heavy artillery have been spotted landing on the beaches close to the coastal town of Weymouth.

In an unprecedented move, the Australian Government has also revoked all VISAs granted to New Zealand citizens in Australia. Any New Zealander discovered and detained by Australian authorities have been secured in confined sheep shearing sheds. In detainment they will be put to work when the first fleeces are sent back across the Tasman as a result of a successful invasion.

Mrs. Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Australia, has sheepishly refused to comment on the matter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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