As a response to the escalating finance crisis in the European Union, Germany and France have declared war on each other.
"It's the only thing we can think of," said German Chancellor, and now Fuhrer Angela Merkel. "We've tried everything else, so why not a war? Who knows? Maybe Germany will win this one."
French President Sarkozy agreed. "It's true, we are now at war. The EU is no more."
Other European countries began to take sides as news of the conflict spread. The Swedish Prime Minister initially declared neutrality, then decided to join the Germans anyway. Outgoing Italy Premier Berlusconi offered to surrender to either side.
Meanwhile in Britain, David Cameron refused to be drawn into the conflict. "This is a European problem, let them sort it out," he said.
The war is expected to cost an estimated 20 million lives, but is likely to significantly boost the economies of all countries involved. The Greek President declared it a "life-saver", and immediately invaded Turkey.
Financial markets rose rapidly on the news, with the NASDAQ rising almost 10%.