Athens - Hellenic Hellfire Club grandees are demanding the public immolation of Prince Philip in an appeasement of the gods sacrifice that some reckon he's had coming for years.
"The Old Spanish Inquisition had the right idea," Greek Minister for Hexes, Brainwashing and Public Accounts Theo 'Krappi' Krapadopulos said today.
"Phil the Greek must be tossed onto a sacrificial pyre in front of St Pauls," the politician explained, "then doused in 100% Extra Virgin Olive Oil, sprinkled with fragrant herbs like hemlock and set alight on Bonfire Night."
The ritual sacrifice could also see Prince Philip's various bastard spawn join him at the stake to ensure a clean break from a tainted past.
"Let's add that impostor ex-King Constantine to the bonfire," Krapadopulos added helpfully, "it's bound to please Zeus, King of the Gods, and bring a big smile to Hera's face."
The deposed ex-Greek king has snaffled away an estimated $2 billion in 'royal' assets that rightfully belong to the Greek Republic.
Saturday's traditional Guy Fawkes Night celebrations at the London embassy is an annual attraction for the Hellenic community abroad and would be the 'ideal' venue for the televised 'barbie'.
Camilla Fucker-Proles is 109.