Written by Jaggedone
Print this
Topics: UN, statistics, tramps

Monday, 31 October 2011

image for Tramps living under bridges prove that there are more than 7 billion of us!
She's not a person according to the UN just an "Untouchable"

According to the United Nations the 7th billion person, an Indian baby, was born and this is symbolic proof that the human race has doubled over the last 50 years. "Bullshit" claim tramps living under bridges and underground tunnels, etc, the world over. "There are hundreds of thousands more," they claim.

In fact the Tramps Union better known as "The greasy dirty overcoats brigade" are going to occupy global cities and protest about not being recognised in this rather eccentric statistic.

A Dutch tramp living under a bridge in Amsterdam (The writers neighbour actually) was so angry that he threw his filthy overcoat in a canal and paraded naked in front of the Van Gogh museum (there's a parallel here) shocking hundreds of Japanese tourists who filmed the whole event thinking it was a reincarnated Vincent.

In New York, London, Tokio, Rio, Paris, Madrid, etc, they are building barriers around their monuments and palaces just in case the tramps decide to occupy them instead of the local parks, waste bins and Salvation Army hostels where they normally hang out.

The other "Occupy cities movement" is also joining the tramps protest in solidarity, but have promised not to get too close to them because the smell can be quite pungent.

The UN are looking into their drastic mistake and have promised global tramps that they will be added to the statistics, but only as "Untouchables".

Indian "Untouchables" have decided to protest against the ruling because they demand that their name remains sacred! More as we get it..

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 plus 2?

5 10 16 6
68 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more