Written by Alvin Taveras
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Monday, 24 October 2011

image for Rick Perry Promised to Draw Distinctions Between Himself, the Black American, and the African American

IOWA - As Rick Perry was stepping out of his bullet proof deluxe edition of his sports utility vehicle pumping Jay-Z's 'Can I get…..' at a hunting preserve, he told reporters, "It's time for brand new colors, colors that Crayola hasn't even imagined."

Perry was in Northwestern Iowa with the local congress representative to shoot some quail, deer, and whatever wild animal thought it was more Texan than he was.

Whether Rick Perry wants to show us he likes to pick on and kill animals that are not his size or he wants to show that killing animals is a manly thing to do or even if he was dreaming about being John Wayne it certainly was a gun-slinging thrill without the horses.

And right before he walked off Perry adds that he is ready to distinguish himself from the rest of his contenders, "Now is the time to draw a line between myself, the black American, and the African-American."

When we asked Perry if he thought he was being the 'R' word he explains that the rest of the GOP presidential hopefuls are not formidable enough because they look funny and talk like seals, especially Rick Santorum.

Unfortunately, this drew a lot of criticism from Juan Williams, Don Imus, and Mike Tyson, but Rick's campaign manager, Wyatt Earpels, told us that Rick was merely identifying the men by the way the front-runner Herman Cain identifies everybody.

And it goes as follows: Michele Bachmann is an Alaskan, Rick Santorum is a secret service agent, Newt Gingrich is John McCain, Jon Hunstman is absent, Mitt Romney is the Manchurian candidate, Ron Paul is a RonApaulican, Rick Perry is a fake cowboy, Donald Trump a wannabe, Barack Obama an African-American, and myself as the Black American. Don't forget the capital letters on the word Black Amercian.

A compelling argument that should clear Rick Perry of the 'R' word but we'll just have to wait and see if he knows all the lyrics of the Jay Z song, "Can I get a……"

In related news, Mitt Romney deliberately rehired the same illegal immigrant from the landscaping company just to piss Rick Perry off. Pick Perry plans to start 'magnet' schools in Massachusetts for all children.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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