Written by Alvin Taveras
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Saturday, 22 October 2011

image for Hugo Chavez Still Learning How to Use Twitter

VENEZUELA - It has been three years since the President of Venezuela Hugo Chavez received his first Apple Mac Book Pro and one and a half years since he has been trying to learn how to use Twitter.

Chavez enjoys the Apple experience immensely because the computer is very user-friendly and has enough memory to save a lot of Hollywood movies. The 'online business' and the Twitter website in particular, was a bit tough even for a guerrilla like Hugo.

One cabinet member told us that he couldn't seem to get over the fact that Twitter is an American product that is widely lauded twice as better as the phone invention. Although, he doesn't prefer email much because he continues to get spam including random emails from Nigeria, he always chose to believe that the Apple Company was Canadian.

It's no surprise though to members of President's Hugo Chavez cabinet that Hugo was not internet savvy. He likes speaking off the cuff and resents writing anything down. But he also was scammed out of some money too.

Chavez once sent a money order over to a man he thought was a family member of his trapped in a Nigerian airport that was mugged and needed to buy a plane ticket to go to New York. Usually, Chavez resists but it was his cousin's best friend who was 'like a brother' to Hugo.

Even though he hasn't heard from him since, he thought one day he would find him on Twitter and 'go guerrilla on him' alongside of getting his fifty thousand dollars back. Hugo tried Facebook but didn't like it because Facebook asks way too many questions about who he was and changes settings annoyingly often.

In fact, it was his great, great grandchild who helped President Chavez set up his Twitter account and help post his first ever message, "I hate the United States of America, still." Unfortunately, his great, great grandchild started the baseball season and didn't have time to show his great, great grandfather how to post Tweet pictures.

Since that first post, there have been no other posts but a large increase in followers. Most of them Central Intelligence Agents.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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