Sirte - In what some suspect to be an act of 'assisted suicide' Mad Dog of the Middle East Colonel Gaddafi has reportedly died, clutching a vile (sic) of the hypnotic 'double' agent propofol.
Gaddafi, 69, had been holed up at a Butlins-style subterranean holiday spa in Sirte having his chronic insomnia issues treated when NTC forces burst in and caught him red-handed.
A spokesperson for the commandos who led the siege on the Colonel's hidey-hole said today the place was a right mess and was littered with countless roach ends, crack bongs and liquor empties:
"We think he was self-medicating with gallon-bottles of Creme de Menthe and Dutch skunk hybrids," Capt Mustapha Kamel commented, "but he'd reached his tolerance level and needed regular topping up with a cocktail of pre-surgical drugs recommended to him by er, distant relatives."
Libyan security sources praised the assistance they'd received from foreign intelligence agencies which may have secured the right GPS co-ordinates that finally nailed Gaddafi's hideout.
"We simply followed all the Colonel's daft Strictly Come Dancing tweets urging the removal of Nancy Del'Ollio," Capt Kamel added.
"The stupid duffer had bet $5,000 that she'd be booted out last Sunday."
Tess Daly is 69.