TEHRAN - On Tuesday, the President of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad outright rejected the notion that protests are taking place in New York City and around the world. He pointed to the absence of news coverage on Iranian television and his visit to the United Nations last month that would preclude such demonstrations.
"I have been to the New York City of America and believe me, there are no protests," says Ahmadinejad. "I know when I see a revolution because I crush it each time it rises."
President Ahmadinejad continued, "The president of New York City doesn't even know I go wherever I want when I'm there. I eat pizza. I drink energy drinks. I even buy happy meals from McDonald's."
Occupiers have taken grave offense to Ahmadinejad's remarks and threatened to continue in their espionage and begin 'another Green Revolution in Tehran via Twitter.' Some have even said they will follow the trails of those two American hikers that enter into Tehran simply to begin an Occupy Wall St over there.
A spokesperson for Obama tried to quell the animosity between Ahmadinejad and Occupiers by telling them the best way to prove a historical event to Ahmadinejad is to have Saudi Arabia tell them.
In other related news, McDonald's has categorically denied serving food to Ahmadinejad anywhere in the world. They also mentioned their new three for one-dollar apple pie special.