Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 16 October 2011

image for 100 US soldiers track notorious Uganda guerilla Joseph 'Putin Bitch' Kony
'Koni' and an unnamed 'friends-with-benefits' mutt-pal

Kampala - NATO always had suspected, of course, that Joseph Kony, leader of Uganda's mass-murdering Lord's Resistance Army guerillas, was the inspiration behind the naming of Vladimir Putin's female black Labrador Retriever Koni.

The mutt was widely assumed to be a namesake of George W Bush's former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice - known as Coni to her pals - after a rumored penchant for gold-studded red leather chokers was linked to the dog's 1999 birth at a Russian Ministry of Emergency Situations rehoming kennels.

This week Kony, a mass-murdering Ugandan thug and suspected associate of the notorious Somali Al-Shabaab-Kebab terror group, sees his survival chances sorely tested with the arrival of 100 crack US troops in the African country.

The special forces are said to give President Obama a counter-terrorism foothold in Uganda, thought by many to be a source of beastly, unfounded rumors alleging his birth in a Kenyan shack.

Last year the Lord's Resistance Army published some tacky photos of former altar boy Kony and alleged US Tea Party activists, sipping tea and enjoying some'Ugandan discussions' - a UK satire magazine's euphemism for having sex while supposedly carrying out official duties.

The LRA was originally started by Alice Lakwena who claimed she was ordered to start the movement by the Holy Spirit to overthrow the Ugandan government.

Lakwena was once suspected of being behind a Ugandan 'virus' caught by some daft UK royal family twat during a pre-nuptial fling in the Kampala Shaggalodge.

Dim Eatery Medvedev is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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