Written by Mc T
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Topics: China, French

Wednesday, 29 October 2003

image for Touchy China
National Prides on Red Alert

A trip to the People's Republic of China by a French Ambassador caused political friction today of global proportions.

Pierre Marcel, on his first ambassadorial trip since taking the post in September, merely commented to his Chinese equivalent that the Great Wall of China really wasn't a wall in its true description but a series of watchtowers connected by corridors.

China's National Heritage and Tourism leader was at the welcoming ceremony and upon hearing the translation of Marcel's comments immediately order his deportation from China by the quickest means.

The Chinese Administration, whom over the past decade have made great steps towards a more congenial foreign policy, took little more than 5 minutes to draft a reply to the French Government. China's declaration said: "We, the people of China think the French need to have greater observation of thier own national asserts. What is it that you have to boast about? A plain landscape with nothing put a big pylon at the heart of it?"

The French, who seldom like having their style called into question, replied with claims that they are the World's style setters and accused China's hat fashion as "one type" and the Sydney Opera House of looking "so fifties".

This fresh outburst prompted the Aussie Prime Minster to retort, "Stop knocking our buildings you bunch of mad Dingos. If you what to complain about desi-i-i-gn look no further than the Great Pyramids, where are the windows, Skip? Great pile of rubbish if you ask me"

The Egyptian government, fearing a slump in their tourism trade, took the opportunity to have a go at their Italian sightseeing rivals. The Egyptians press office announced, "Egypt is beautiful place and visitors will leave our country with a sense of awe at what our engineering ancestors achieved. Unlike in Italy, where building something that can stand upright is a challenge."

The Italian government were to disorganise with doing, generally, nothing to make a formal response but Giorgio Armani, the country's leading fashion tycoon, had the world in deep thought when asked for his views on today's events, "It is clear to me, that the White House would look much better in Magnolia."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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