Leading geneticist Dr Hugo von Steinenfrank, of the Hermann Munster Institute of Bonn, has rejected claims made by two computer technicians who insist they invented Britney Spears and many other leading artists as part of a science experiment.
Dr Steinenfrank has told medical journal The Lancet: "These claims are absurd. Britney is a living breathing creature on the verge of developing independent thought and it is wrong to regard her as no more than the product of two computer geeks with a computer. Clearly she is the unique product of generations of research, a living creature that is almost capable of reason yet has been developed purely from genetic engineering."
These views were also supported by Dr Miriam P.Insanity, a leading genetic researcher from Hartlepool, where the famous monkey was first developed for espionage work. "When we consider early experiments in this field, most were just single celled organisms without nervous systems that existed solely in a laboratory. These advances have now enabled recording companies to create a base template lifeform that can be designed specifically for music videos. In another twenty years, perhaps these life-forms may achieve self-awareness and even may be able to exist outside of a vaccuum. Naturally this a long way off but I am confident that one day we will see a music video performer who is almost identical to a real human."
Record companies have been quick to deny this claim, stating that their artists are created specifically as capital investment projects and, therefore, have no use or need for independent thought.