Iran's president graciously offered to send the entire nation of Israel back to it's beloved founding father Abraham, back even further to the days of baby MOSES even if that didn't suffice. Israel responded in kind with a counter nuclear offer .. graciously offering to send IRAN back to the days before the big BANG even, back when space, matter and TIME itself did not exist.
President Bush, attempting to ease the mounting tensions between Iranian President Ahmadinejad and Israeli Prime Minister Sharon flew the two leaders to his Crawford Tx ranch for a "good ole fashioned" Texas barbecue.
Barney, the president's dog immediately smelled trouble the MOMENT the plane carrying the 2 leaders landed outside Crawford .. trouble with a capital "t".
"No Barney NO!" the president yelled as Barney leaped out of his arms, scampered down the tarmac to the steps of the plane where the 2 leaders were disembarking and made "Terrier Tinkle" on the Iranian president's shoe.
Israel's prime minister Sharon immediately broke into laughter and was reportedly heard to say,
"The dog he does not LIKE you Mohammad the dog does not LIKE you my Iranian friend" resulting in a minor scuffle between the Iranian President's security guards and the Israeli Prime Minister's security guards quickly resulting in U.S. security guards rushing in and breaking up the squabble.
Such was the beginning of, as it will become known in history books after Armageddon 1000 years from now,
"The night of a Thousand Ribs".
The barbecue was superb, the Zima flowed freely, the wine was fine and the country music most mellow, magical even as the President and his two guests slowly loosened up, kicked off their shoes and simply enjoyed the ribs, tater salad, companionship and lonesome prairie cowpoke revelry that night under the stars on the plains of south central Texas.
Barney, however, for some reason seemed to like Sharon but HATE the Iranian President's guts. At one point after Laura Bush brought out the fresh hot peach cobbler the Iranian President made a sarcastic remark regarding Sharon's "mother" resulting in Barney making yet more "Terrier Tinkle" on the Iranian President's OTHER shoe.
Bush, to lighten things up asked,
"President Ahmadinejad? Why do you want to send your friend Prime Minister Sharon and his people back to the days of baby Moses" to which the Iranian President replied, perhaps the Zima talking,
"Because I HATE them ALL the Suns of Britches!".
to which Barney replied
"GRRRR (Bark) (Bark) GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!"
The Iranian president in an apparent drunken stupor threw a barbecue RIB at Barney who as fate would have it caught it in his mouth and after a few seconds of "pure chewing enjoyment" LEAPED 5 feet into the air, onto the table over to the Iranian President KNOCKING the leader backwards in his chair to the floor where Sharon, coming to the aid of Barney began pouring a pitcher of ice cold Zima on the Iranian President resulting in Iranian security guards engaging the Israeli security guards having to once again be forcibly broken apart by U.S. Secret Service Agents.
President Bush, after the smoke cleared ordered ranch aids to give Barney a doggy Valium and take him out for a walk AROUND the ranch until he "calmed the heck" down.
Needless to say, tensions between the two Middle Eastern countries remain "elevated".