France - The likeness to Uncle Joe Stalin is said to be formidable even without the addition of a 'dead slug' handlebar mustache, Brigadier General Henri Le Collaborateur commented today.
Unveiling the portrait by noted Left Bank piss artiste Armand Poseur the Legion's commander praised its honorary colonel-in-chief's bold decision to be captured in a canary yellow outfit.
"Oui, it shows off zee regiment's true colors to perfection," Le Collaborateur explained, "while distracting attention from the newly refurbished hairpiece."
Queen Elizabeth has been the French Foreign Legion's figurehead for more than 50 years since shagging General De Gaulle in a secret pact that saw her name her firstborn after her lover and eventually atoned for the Queen Mother's World War II sex crimes.
However various strenuous lewd acts had affected her follicles, eventually making most her hair fall out.
"Alas, La Reine Anglaise is 'ow we say bald," watercolorist Poseur admitted, "but artistic licence 'as given us zees jaunty wig."
The portrait will hang in the regiment's Rogues Gallery until April 1st 2012 after which it will go on tour to the newly revamped Chernobyl Arts Center in the Ukraine.