Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 20 September 2011

image for Pippa Middleton 'a dead ringer for France's Ségolène Royal'
Are they twins?

Paris - 'Take away the botox jabs, the cheek fillers and contour-plumpers and what do you get?' a Paris Snatch editorial asked today as rumors continued to fly about the controversial 58 year-old French politician.

'She may not have Pippa's slender derrière nor her slightly chipmunk-ish teeth; other than that they could be twins,' the magazine concluded; 'Are the two perchance related?'

The comparison was first made when the Poitou-Charentes Regional Council president was snapped with Pippa at the royal wedding in April this year.

Looking 'utterly ravishing' and 'gorgeously chic' in a stunning Balenciaga outfit rumored to have cost three times as much as Kate Middleton's bridal gown Royal stole the show with an effortless display of Parisian haute couture style.

This week fashionistas are demanding an immediate DNA test to establish if the two women are in fact fellated - er...related!

This is not the first time the politician has courted controversy, of course; during a somewhat flawed and ultimately disastrous 2006 French presidential campaign one of Ségolène's brothers accused her favorite sibling, Gérard Royal, of being a terror agent who planted the bomb that sank the Greenpeace ship the Rainbow Warrior.

Nothing was ever proven but Ségolène's detractors have noted that her former cohabitee/partner and father of their four children François Hollande 'has a London school named after him'.

During the 1990s UK Special Branch detectives published a list of Francis Holland School's former pupils suspected of terrorist activities.

Pippa Middleton was educated at the thirty grand-a-year Marlborough College.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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