Written by Angus McFiddle
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Friday, 16 September 2011

image for Pope renews sponsorship with bread factory
Bread will continue to represent the body of Christ.

The Roman Catholic church has renewed its centuries-old sponsorship deal with the bread factory, countering suspicions that the Pope was cosying up to Garibaldi biscuits magnate Garry Baldy.

The bread factory has enjoyed a near exclusive relationship with the Catholics since the last supper was described in the Gospels. Matthew and Mark, both shareholders of the bread factory, promoted the idea of bread being given before wine, and the bread factory successfully campaigned to have wine removed from the communion ceremony altogether.

"We're delighted that His Holiness The Papal Holy See Wotsit has deigned to renew our historic partnership," said chief baker Peter Bread.

Bread shares rose sharply on the news while the announcement was a bitter blow to Garibaldi biscuits, who thought they were on the verge of forcing out bread.

"We're sorely disappointed," said Garry Baldy. "His Eminenceness had practically given his assurance that by this time next year Catholics everywhere would be served our tasty raisin-based biscuits at Holy Communion all over the world. He even let me kiss his ring. I feel abused."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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