Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Topics: Libya, Scientology

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

image for "Moderate Scientology" to rule Libya
Libyans have destroyed all images of Xenu in accordance with tradition

Leader of Libya's National Transitional Council, Limahl, has promised that the new government will be guided by the principles of "moderate Scientology". He announced the decision to huge crowds in the nation's capital Tripoli, as they celebrated their new-found freedom.

After 40 years of repression, Limahl feels that Scientology can provide the uniting force for the country's many different tribes. Most of the population are keen Scientologists, but Limahl warned against the dangers of extremism - "just look at Tom Cruise", he said.

He also said that Libya could not be a secular state because the great Lord Xenu would be displeased and would probably send a plague of soul-eating bears to eat everyone.

Last week's release of frozen funds by the UN has given Libya over 1 billion Euros to rebuild their country. They have already spent over half of it on copies of L Ron Hubbard's "Dianetics" and e-meters.

It is thought the announcement could sour relations with neighbouring Tunisia, who are followers of a John Travolta-led offshoot of the religion.

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