Written by Lyndon
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Wednesday, 7 September 2011

image for TSA falsely accuses man of transporting snake and tortoises, finds instead man's huge genitals
No snakes on this plane--just a well-hung New Englander!

MIAMI, Florida--TSA screeners at Miami International Airport ordered that a man be held for transporting an exotic snake and two tortoises. A strip search revealed that the man instead sported an extremely long penis and large scrotum.

Billy Sanders of Harfold, Vermont, was trying to clear security on his way to board an American Airlines flight to San Juan, Puerto Rico, when a TSA officer asked that he step behind a partition for questioning.

To the question of whether he was concealing a package of any kind, Sanders replied, "That depends on what you mean by 'package.'"

Two special TSA officers were then summoned to conduct a strip search of Sanders along with Miami-Dade police officers. What they found, they won't soon forget.

"We wish to apologize to Mr. Sanders," said TSA regional director, Artie Smalls, "for the inconvenience. Our officers are trained to assign certain size and length readings to various species which are high on smugglers' lists."

Sanders seemed to take it all in stride. Asked if he was humiliated by the experience, he replied, "Hell no, it's just that usually a bunch of guys like that would've pulled together a good $50 to sneak a peek at Billy's goods! We'll let it go this time."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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