Written by Nash D. Plott
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Monday, 5 September 2011

image for Obama to use Carpenters to Fix Nation's Bridges

DETRIOT - Obama gave the American public a rousing speech on Monday revolving around the issue of unemployment, claiming that America has "numerous roads and bridges that need rebuilding and over a million unemployed construction workers to rebuild them".

"Is he mad?" demanded Alberto Gonzalez, one of the unemployed million. "I have sixteen years in drywall plastering. What do I know about bridges? Would I want to drive my own family over a bridge that I had repaired? I don't think so. These political bas**ds just assume that anyone who holds a toolbox is some kind of interchangeable clone. If I was to bring out my own big stereotyping ugly-stick and say there was no difference between Barack Obama, Shaqille O'Neal and Uncle Ben I would be called an ignorant redneck."

"Thanks for the help, Mr. President," said Tom Dougherty, an electrician who has been unemployed for 22 months. "There's no job for me in this until everyone who has ever been laid off from a public service union gets called back to work. I'll be living under the bridge long before I am fixing it."

The Republican party is wasting no time in trying to exploit the fallout from President Obama's speech. Sarah Palin accused the president of being out of touch with working people. When challenged to demonstrate her own ability to differentiate between a carpenter and a mason, Palin flashed her characteristic smile. "Well that just shows the difference between me and Obama.", she said. "I think that any person running for the top job in the United States should know that there is a huge difference between the two. Jesus was a carpenter and George W. Bush was a mason."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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