Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 5 September 2011

image for Michele Bachmann Is Starting To Have Second Thoughts About Running For President
One of the six hair dryers that Michele Bachmann always carries with her wherever she goes. (Photo by Piper Palin).

CIMARRON, Kansas - Michele Bachmann's Hairspray Over America Bus Tour brought her to Cimarron, Kansas, home of the largest Wheat Penny Museum in the entire world.

She quipped to the 13 people in the audience that if one really gave out a penny for your thoughts, they would probably give out a little over 317,900 pennies.

Bachmann was asked by GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle how things are going with her presidential primary campaign. At first Bachmann said that everything was as fine as strawberry wine, but then she confessed that it's going about as bad as a bad bottle of cheap Ripple wine.

The Minnesota congresswoman said that a lot of people are not taking her seriously and that some are now starting to refer to her as a clearance bin clone version of Sarah Palin but without the camouflage clothes, the moose hunting boots, and that ever prevalent gun powdery smell.

Bachmann noted that she has heard lots of Democrats and now even some Republicans refer to Sarah Palin and her as 'The Paris Hilton's of Politics."

The Minnesota native did point out that even some Tea Bag Party members have taken Sarah Palin's last name and rearranged the letters to come out with the anagram Plain, which Bachmann says is really quite appropriate since old "Snowflake" hasn't really done or said anything new in the last 13 months.

Soursuckle asked her if the fact that Texas Governor Rick Perry has now throw his ten-gallon cowboy hat into the ring may have something to do with her newly acquired political depression.

Bachmann took a sip from her Diet 7 Up, raised her eyebrows, dabbed at her hair-sprayed hair, and replied, "Bingo!"

A close campaign aid of Bachmann's noted that the woman from The Land of 10,000 Lakes is concerned that she may just be wasting her money and that she is already having to dip into her personal clothes fund, her shoes fund, and even her hair spray fund.

Michele Bachmann says she will probably give it another week or so and then she may just decide to go back to being the extremely opinionated, biscuit baking, highly-hair sprayed wife of Marcus Bachmann.

In sports news. The Los Angeles Lakers have squelched the rumors that the team had been purchased by billionaire Rupert Murdock and he was going to move the team to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico to help bring even more tourists to the Baja California resort area.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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