Written by Nash D. Plott
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Topics: Obesity

Saturday, 3 September 2011

image for Man-Bra Gains Traction in Southern USA

A new and much-needed fashion trend, the "Man Bra", has been rising in popularity in Southern states including Texas, Mississippi and Alabama. The concept, which encountered initial resistance as being "un-manly", has been aggressively promoted with male-oriented marketing on sports channels and a cast of celebrity endorsements.

Need for the Man Bra has become in obvious in recent years, with approximately 60% of the adult male population sporting ample man-breasts. Traditional female bras are unsuited to the average male-breasted figure, which typically measures in at approximately 50-58 inches with a "B" or "C" cup. Furthermore, traditional fabrics convey entirely the wrong gender identity, typically featuring lace, lycra, or leopard prints. The new man-bra is made out of potent camouflage fabric, with the traditional "underwire" replaced with hockey tape, a product which has a high acceptance level within the male population.

Leonard Davis, until recently left tackle for the Dallas Cowboys, is an enthusiastic spokesman for the Man Bra. "Within the sports community we have been using it for years", he confides. "It's just one of those things that nobody talks about. I'm happy to see the Man Bra gaining popularity, though. I can see a lot of people out there who are pretty uncomfortable, including some big names like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck."

Wearers of the Man Bra can recognize other wearers by their posture and the firmness of their upper torsos despite their large size. "Chris Christie, the Governor of New Jersey, started wearing one in 2009," claims Davis. "He did not publicize it, but those who wear Man Bras can tell. I thought for a while that Anthony Weiner was also wearing one, but he is really not that large a man and it it turned out to be a regular woman's bra".

The Man Bra is currently sold only through Big and Tall specialty stores, although a deal with Walmart is in the works. The product is anticipated to become an important part of the men's clothing lineup, and stores are being reorganized so that the Man Bra can be displayed where the potential clientele congregate, close to the in-store McDonalds.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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