Written by jd Balderdash
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Monday, 26 December 2005

image for Votes recounted, John Kerry assumes Presidency
President Kerry

(CNN BREAKING) Thanks to a little known loophole in the Constitution John Kerry yesterday assummed the Presidency of the United States of America leaving former president George W Bush little more than a private citizen temporarily living in the White House.

President Kerry, now sleeping in the Abe Lincoln room of the White House says that he'll give Bush plenty of time to get everything packed up and moved out.

Bush told reporters,

"Little did I know that I'd go to bed last night, wake up the next morning with an eviction notice on my door."

Apparently the little known "loophole" in the U.S. Constitution grants all presidential rights to any losing candidate who can prove that ballots were tampered with in more than 42 states.

"We actually proved that to be true in all 50 states including Puerto Rico and THEY'RE not even allowed to vote" one unnamed DNC chairman told reporters.

Karl Rove, sources say, is expected to demand a re-re-count of the ballots once he regains consciousness.

President Kerry and his wife Teresa still have a few more things to pack, bring from Massachusetts to the White House, one of the more interesting items being the swift boat Kerry purchased a few months ago. President Kerry told reporters,

"I always wanted my own swift boat. I don't take it out too much plus .. it's not armed or anything but the thing IS swift. Hopefully they'll let me drive it in the Potomac."

Kerry, when asked about the troops in Iraq said,

"They're on their way home as we speak."

Reporters asked ..

"You mean we're cutting and running?"

to which President Kerry replied,

"No .. I like to call it running and cutting. Running away from an unjust illegal invasion and CUTTING our losses bringing our brave young men and women home."

Insiders say that former president Bush, without too many marketable job skills will probably, after vacating the White house "hunt quail or something, we don't know."

President Kerry reportedly consoled Mr Bush by offering him and Laura a lifetime supply of Heinz 57 Sauce and jokingly telling Bush,

"Look on the bright side George. It's better than getting impeached."

Sources say that former president George W Bush was "NOT" amused.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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