FRAMINGHAM, Mass.--President Obama's uncle, Onyango Obama, was arrested on August 24 after failing a sobriety test based on the history of the United States.
Police pulled over Obama, 67, after making a rolling stop through a stop sign and nearly hit another vehicle.
Despite wreaking of alcohol, the officers were willing to give Obama the benefit of the doubt as long as he was able to answer some basic questions regarding the history of the very nation which his nephew happens to be leading.
Obama got off to poor start with question one (When was the 8th Amendment passed?) dealing with the Amendment which prohibits the federal government from imposing excessive bail, excessive fines or cruel and unusual punishments).
"Ah, trick question," slurred Obama, "Obviously, it ain't ever been passed since we've been abusin' them Arabs in Guantanamo Bay."
Obama quickly flunked question two (What is the opening line to the Preamble to the Constitution?) when he replied, "Four score and seven years ago."
Obama averted question 3 altogether (What is the definition of "checks and balances'?) when he stated unclearly, "I'd like to use a lifeline, like the fucking White House, you glorified constables of Mayberry. You fellas make Don Knotts look like clever clogs."