Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Monday, 29 August 2011

image for Dog With Two Assholes Campaigns For Obama And Biden
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WASHINGTON: President Barack Obama, worried about his falling approval rating, called Democratic National Committee Chairwoman, Debbie Wasserman Shultz, into the Oval Office yesterday to see if she had any ideas that might help him win back voters in his re-election bid for 2012.

Ms. Wasserman, who knows that the President loves her perky smile and tight butt, observed the President's dog under the desk looking up her skirt. Bo, the Portuguese Water Dog who runs amok around the White House, was doing what comes naturally to those who use the Oval Office for business and social purposes; he was beaver shooting.

A light-bulb went off in her head. "Mr. President, I have a plan to win back Middle-America in 2012."

"Wonderful Debbie, but how?" asked Obama.

"You know how Americans love dogs and automatically trust people when they have a dog in tow? Remember when Richard Nixon used his dog Checkers to rebuild his image? Hey, why don't you and Vice-President Biden take Bo on the campaign trail with you? He will love traveling with you and Joe in your black bus."

And so off to Keokuk, Iowa the three of them went a campaigning. With Bo on a lease, they walked into the Last Chance Bar and Grill, located in a blue-collar area of Keokuk. The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you President Obama and Vice-President Biden? I voted for you numbnuts back in 2008."

Biden, who had been in a bar or two, ordered a round of Black Jack shooters for the whole bar, men, women and children, alike.

One and all toasted the President. A few minutes later, a grizzled old hay-shaker came in the bar, walked over to Bo, lifted up his tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out without saying a word. A few minutes later, in came another old farmer. He glanced at President Obama, said, "Howdy Do," walked over to Bo, lifted up his tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar. For the next hour or so, another dozen farmers came in, lifted Bo's tail, checked underneath, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, President Obama asked, "Why did all those old farmers come in and look under Bo's tail? Is that an Iowa custom?"

"Hell no," said the bartender. Someone's out there running around town, claiming there's a big black and white dog in here with two assholes."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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