WASHINGTON, D.C.--The head interior decorator for the White House decided Monday not to replace the "Taft Tub" in the Presidential Suite's bathroom until New Jersey governor Chris Christie officially denies any Presidential aspirations.
"The 'Taft Tub' was designed," said Gloria Richards, who has served in her position since 2003, "to accommodate President William Howard Taft in 1910 after the President had become stuck in a conventional tub late one night. But a tub that size really hasn't been needed since.
"When President Obama was elected, we decided to do away with the tub. I mean he weights maybe 140 lbs. soaking wet. However, we need to wait to see if Governor Christie really does have plans to run."
Although only Governor Christie and perhaps his physician know his true weight, it is believed that he would easily rival President Taft's 335 lbs.
"Yeah," said Richards, "I think their pound differential is probably as small as the one we had with the Bush-Gore popular vote."