Written by PP Rega
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Monday, 29 August 2011

image for Nancy Pelosi's Face Victimized by 5.8 Earthquake

Besides the Washington Monument and the National Cathedral, there was another famous relic that sustained damages during the recent East Coast earthquake.

According to Congressional sources who wish to remain anonymous, Congresswoman's Nancy Pelosi's (D-CA) face totally disintegrated at the peak of the 5.8 magnitude tremor. About 1:50 EDT, the incident occurred while Ms. Pelosi was escorting a group of Girl Scouts around the Capitol.

As the floors trembled and the chandeliers swayed, Ms. Pelosi's face did both and chunks of epidermal and dermal fragments cascaded off her forehead and cheeks and fell onto the floor.

The Girl Scouts reacted in horror to see a mass of fascia, muscle and mildew devoid of flesh. Some vomited and others ran for their lives screaming at the top of their lungs.

Aides of Ms. Pelosi immediately sprang into action. They wrapped her head in a raincoat, and whisked her away to a hospital.

The Congresswoman, however, was oblivious to what was happening to her face and thought she was being kidnapped.

Her last words as she was being carried down the Capitol steps were: "Help! Help! Al Qaeda!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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