Written by Jason Safoutin
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Friday, 23 December 2005

image for George W. Bush Sent Back To First Grade.

Washington DC (REUTERS) - Seymor Buttz of REUTERS sat down for an exclusive interview with George W. Bush, the President of The United States earlier today. Mr. Bush agreed to talk about anything but also said "There are limits."

Reporter -
"What do you say to, as you put it the "success" in Iraq?"

Bush -
"They (the terrorists) misunderestimated me." Although "our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

Reporter -
"Do you think that children do enough reading? Do you think the children in the US are literate enough?"

Bush -
"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. Reading is the basics for all learning. Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

Reporter -
"What do you say to the terrorists?"

Bush -
"And it's a struggle between good and it's a struggle between evil. My views are one that speaks to freedom. We cannot let terrorists hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile. Our nation must come together to unite. I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."

After the interview aired on TV the Bush administration immediately took action. It was clear, the President needed to learn how to read and speak.

After the president was a-wall from the Air National Guard, the media started to dig deeper. Documents released show that Mr. Bush (the President) never graduated from elementary school.

After several court orders, and explaining to Mr. Bush with pictures, the administration agreed to send the President back to the first grade.

He will attend an undisclosed elementary school in Washington DC where he will go from first grade all the way up to sixth.

His first part of class on January 3 will be a "literacy test."

When asked about his a-wall from elementary school the President replied "I think we agree, the past is over."

Fortunately the Courts do not agree.

Vice President Dick Cheney will assume all presidential duties until further notice.

His only comment on the current issue, "From kindergarten to graduation, I went to public schools, and I know that they are a key to being sure that every child has a chance to succeed and to rise in the world."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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