East Hampton, Long Island - "Anyone listing their boring-as-hell repro fireplaces as a property's top selling feature gotta be a nouveau riche asshole punting to the Clintons," Lily Pond Lane resident Dr Lamar Madison commented today as Tropical Storm Irene lashed the Hamptons.
The Carnegie Hill Big Oil magnate was speaking to reporters from the East Hampton Evening Sentinel about the resurgence of trailer trash dross holidaying on the island.
He'd hunkered down at his ocean front mansion under sufferance this year as Hill and Bill settled into the $25 million East Hampton rental that property tycoon Elie Hirschfeld still can't flog despite the NY 11937 zip code.
"Hells bells, the Clintons only ever come here to poke their thieving noses at what they'll never be able to afford," Madison added, "bout time I busted their eavesdroppin asses for hiring the Murdochs to do the dirty."
Neighbors seem to agree the Hirschfeld property isn't particularly grand considering its relatively inferior beach side position and an architectural style dubbed early 'McDonalds drive-thru'.
The Hirschfeld/Clinton connection isn't exactly new, of course, his late father Abe apparently having once offered Paula Jones a cool million dollars to drop a sexual harassment suit against the President... later reneging on the promise after secret video footage of Clinton made him barf.
A Big Oil Shagger magazine feature this week claimed the Clintons' $10,000 rent had been waived 'for old times sake' and would be recorded as a gift by the Secretary of State in Capital Hill's official register of cabinet backhanders.
Chelsea Clinton is still not pregnant.