Written by Lyndon
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Sunday, 28 August 2011

image for Irene pounds Jersey shore, but still not nearly as loud and obnoxious as Snooki

SEASIDE HEIGHTS, New Jersey--Hurricane Irene churned its way last night into the Jersey shore, knocking out power to thousands of residents holed up inside gaining protection from pounding winds.

Still, the storm paled when compared to the average drunken rampage by Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi.

"The winds made quite a noise at 50 miles an hour," said business owner Alana Marcía, 49, who has managed a souvenir shop here for the past four seasons of the Jersey Shore. "Then when it got up to 60 and 70, I thought all hell was breaking loose."

Asked to compare the noise to the ruckus which Snooki often makes on the Shore, Marcía replied, "Oh, sweet Jesus, no, no comparison. This storm was like a Snooki burp.

"Your typical Snooki rant at Sitch is much more ear-piercing than anything Irene could chuck at us."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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