Written by Lyndon
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Saturday, 27 August 2011

image for Susan Powell scandal proves to have too many names for old folks to follow
Codmayer: "Is she Susan Powell or Susan Cox Powell?"

HARFOLD, Vermont--At Harfold Health and Rehab Center, the elderly inhabitants enjoy a good scandal like anybody. But just as many senior citizens don't care for books and movies with a multitude of characters, it seems they need a scandal with very few players as well.

Because of this, the Susan Powell story is just not their cup of tea.

Said Erwin Codmayer, 86: "Jeese Louise, there are enough of them Powells to keep straight, ain't there? You got Susan and the two kids. Then you got the men, Josh and Steven, and it seems they were both messin' around with her."

Gertrude "Trudie" Egan, 91, looked on knodding. "I gave up when the in-laws got involved. With them talkin' about Jennifer Graves and Chuck Cox. I don't know who them people are. Nor do I give a goshdarn."

And once both sides lawyer up, it doesn't get better for news consumers of a riper age. "The Cox family," said Odette Nichols, 79, "can't even get one lawyer who can fill their needs. You got Steve Dowling who represents the girl's father. Then the whole family got that Bremner girl to represent them as a group. Galldang lawyers get richer while we get poorer."

"Now take O.J.!" exclaimed Melvin St. Claire, 88, from the corner. "Now there's an easy story. You got O.J. and the two people he's supposeta've killed. Easy peasy."

The general consensus among the Center's elderly was that they yearned for a missing person or murder scandal with two people involved--tops. If the story could be whittled down to one name only, all the better.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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