Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 2 September 2011

image for Sarah Palin Visits The Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum Where She Says Lincoln Was Born
This is Piper Palin's lucky reindeer which she named 'Bruno' after The DWTS Judge Bruno Tonioli.

SPRINGFIELD, Illinois - Sarah Palin's One Nation Bus Tour pulled into Springfield, Illinois home of the largest silly putty collection in the world.

Palin who was dressed in a red blouse, white shorts, and a blue bandana addressed the crowd of 17 who had gathered in the parking lot of a local Pizza Doll Restaurant.

The 2008 GOP vice presidential candidate told the assembled crowd that her and nine-year-old daughter Piper had just visited The Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum.

Sarah Louise was asked by Ling Chow Rangoon of iRumors how she liked visiting the famous library and museum.

She grinned and said that it was great to have walked inside of the same exact library slash museum where a scant 90 years ago our 36th president Abraham Lincoln Mercury had been born.

Rangoon corrected her by telling her that Lincoln was born in Kentucky 202 years ago and that he was our 16th president. She went on to add that Lyndon B. Johnson was our 36th president and that Abraham Lincoln was not named Abraham Lincoln Mercury.

Palin turned pink. She asked Rangoon if she was a Democrat. Rangoon told her that it really was none of her business whether she was a Democrat, a Republican, or a Presbyterian.

The iRumors reporter then asked her when she plans on officially entering the GOP presidential primary race.

"Polar Bear Balls" as Nancy Pelosi calls her replied "Well ya know Ling Chow, that's a darn good question. And to be kinda, sorta truthful wiffcha I have ta say dat ya know, I really can't say."

"Is it because you're a woman and can't make up your mind?" Miss Rangoon asked.

Palin replied that no that was not the reason. Ling Chow then asked her if it was because so many pundits believe she is just too afraid of getting into a debate with Rick Perry who most news people feel will wipe the floor with Palin's Alaskan ass.

The Tina Fey lookalike smiled and remarked that, that was not the reason either.

Rangoon then became quite upset. She got in Mrs. Todd Palin's face and asked "So tell me Palin is there any friggin thing that you are sure about? How about your effen period? Snowflake do you still get your freakin period or do you not know the answer to that son-of-a-bitch question either?"

Just then nine-year-old Piper Palin went up to Rangoon and told her that she was not going to stand for her disrespecting her mommy like that.

"Oh really?" an angry Rangoon asked, "And do tell me you little pint-sized halibut hormone, what the hell are you going to do about it?"

And with that Piper took a petrified reindeer penis out of her back pocket and struck Miss Rangoon on her left kneecap. The reporter fell to the ground and immediately dialed 911.

Snowflake quickly grabbed Piper and put her in the bus and they drove off at a very high rate of speed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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