In a surprising turn of events in Lybia this evening, the rebels who recently overthrew the brutal dictator Muammar Gaddafi have suffered their own defeat.
After a mere 19 hours, the stronghold the rebels held on Martyr Square has been replaced by mobs of union protesters. Members of American labor unions, most notably SEIU and Teamsters, were seen carrying signs promoting the right of the Lybian rebels to organize. Most of the protests were peaceful, but a few broke out into violence. Reportedly, 37 union workers were removed from Martyr Square by unidentified Lybian citizens after setting up a card check booth. Ironically, it is believed the citizens were former Gaddafi loyalists.
What is clear as of right now is that the rebel forces are unable to fight back against the union organizers and are planning a retreat from Tripoli. A new union, tentatively known as LIFE, or Lybian Independence For Everybody, is drawing up a cease fire and will be assuming control of the central palace. Any Lybian rebels found in Martyr Square after tomorrow evening will be exiled to Egypt or to whichever country they lived in prior to moving to Lybia to join the revolution.
The White House did not have an immediate response to this new development, but an aide who wished to remain anonymous said the president has cancelled his upcoming vacation in Aruba and will be preparing a national press conference for early September. Originally, the press conference on his new JOBS bill was going to include information on these new developments, but it was determined two press conferences would be better.
Anyone wishing to contribute to LIFE can contact Seymour Jobbs at: 1-800-LIFE-SUPPORT. For a nominal contribution of $100 USD, supporters will receive a "CHOOSE LIFE" bumper sticker and keychain.
Stand in solidarity with your Lybian Union Brothers and Sisters! Call today!